November 8, 2008

MJ....our mystery

Mr. J (MJ) has had some unnerving symptoms lately.

I will admit to you all that I am coming to pieces lately. PLEASE forgive me if I am not acting as myself. I am having intense personal issues, and when I say intense....I really mean it. My heart is grieving, and aching. I am doing and saying things I would never say normally. The pressure that is on me right now feels like the weight of an elephant, and I need my dear cyber friends to pray. I am a lot of things. I am shy, fragile, awkward, and geeky....but I am also compassionate, sensitive, incredibly & intensely loyal. Sometimes I say and do stupid things out of intense loyalty to the ones that I forgive me for that.

On to Mr. J.....he has almost no verbal skills. His sisters are starting to say words, or at least are trying to make words. He can coo like a 3-4 month old, and that's it. He does a wounded army man crawl, and will not attempt to sit up alone.... and finally he has started to roll his eyes up into the corner of his sockets (without moving his head, it almost looks like he may have a convulsion....but never does) and raises his hand....which seems to be involuntary. I will be talking to the doctor on Monday, but I am very concerned. We have been concerned for a while now, and I am tired of the "don't worry....he's so young" comment. Something is VERY wrong, and I want answers. Mama Bear is coming out to advocate for her these doctors better watch out. :)

I need prayers. I am hanging on by a frayed thread that is about to snap. I am leaning on God as hard as I can. What I need the MOST right now are my personal issues to be resolved. I need to focus 100% of my attention on to my babies now, and I can't with all of these distractions. After I get some answers for Mr. J I can get some answers for my medical problem. I need surgery, and I have been putting it off. I need everyone to understand that I am under a LOT of pressure right now, and that I may not be myself.....but please don't abandon me. I need the support of my faith, friends, and family to get us through all of this.



Aawww sweetie hang in there. I will be praying for you. You can do it, Just remember If he brought you to it, he'll bring you through it!

Nicole O'Dell

I commented at TC but I'm going to add you as a blog I follow because I want to keep track of you and make sure you're ok.


i just said a a prayer for you and MJ and i will keep you guys in my prayers for sure! i know what its like to have so much stuff going on i too am under a ton of stress with one of my babies and my own medical issues so please if you ever need to talk feel free to email me!
*God will not give you more than you can handle, and when you think you can bear it no more, you must remember.. you WILL survive it*


Ohh K,
I can understand the overwhelming weight of carrying these issues and the concerns for our children, along with having other crap to deal with. Seems like when it rains, it pours...
Good for you for being MJ's biggest advocate...why does everyone say, "You as the mom know him best..." yet, when you bring a concern, it often gets dismissed?
Will be praying for you. Please let me know if there's something I can do for you...I was there a few weeks ago, feeling so overwhelmed by "life" I was ready to pack my bag and go to a quiet place!
You are not alone!!!! though you may feel like you're drowning in "kids stuff".
Hang in there! Love, MELANIE


keeping you and mj in my prayers!


We are here and are not going anywhere!!!!! You are strong and will get through this. I will be thinking and praying for you and MJ.

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