Mr. J (MJ) has had some unnerving symptoms lately.
I will admit to you all that I am coming to pieces lately. PLEASE forgive me if I am not acting as myself. I am having intense personal issues, and when I say intense....I really mean it. My heart is grieving, and aching. I am doing and saying things I would never say normally. The pressure that is on me right now feels like the weight of an elephant, and I need my dear cyber friends to pray. I am a lot of things. I am shy, fragile, awkward, and geeky....but I am also compassionate, sensitive, incredibly & intensely loyal. Sometimes I say and do stupid things out of intense loyalty to the ones that I love....so forgive me for that.
On to Mr. J.....he has almost no verbal skills. His sisters are starting to say words, or at least are trying to make words. He can coo like a 3-4 month old, and that's it. He does a wounded army man crawl, and will not attempt to sit up alone.... and finally he has started to roll his eyes up into the corner of his sockets (without moving his head, it almost looks like he may have a convulsion....but never does) and raises his hand....which seems to be involuntary. I will be talking to the doctor on Monday, but I am very concerned. We have been concerned for a while now, and I am tired of the "don't worry....he's so young" comment. Something is VERY wrong, and I want answers. Mama Bear is coming out to advocate for her baby....so these doctors better watch out. :)
I need prayers. I am hanging on by a frayed thread that is about to snap. I am leaning on God as hard as I can. What I need the MOST right now are my personal issues to be resolved. I need to focus 100% of my attention on to my babies now, and I can't with all of these distractions. After I get some answers for Mr. J I can get some answers for my medical problem. I need surgery, and I have been putting it off. I need everyone to understand that I am under a LOT of pressure right now, and that I may not be myself.....but please don't abandon me. I need the support of my faith, friends, and family to get us through all of this.
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