Blessings????

I think sometimes we mistake being "blessed" as living a wealthy life. Wealthy as in....abundant in things and money. Monetary value.

In my heart I KNOW this is not accurate. It's just NOT true, but sometimes the things that we hide in our hearts come out in an ugly way when we are tested.

Our mortgage company debits out account every month for our mortgage payment. I have a horrible record of paying bills on time, so we decided that in the interest of our credit scores that we would have everything except utility bills directly debited.

We recently had our property taxes paid through our escrow account, and our escrow account dipped "too low" according to our mortgage contract. "Supposedly" our mortgage company wrote us a letter, and tried contacting us to let us know that they were going to debit money for our escrow account. I never received a letter, and I have no voicemails (I don't always answer the phone for obvious reasons....it's LOUD!).

In one day, our mortgage company debited a VERY large amount from our account, as did our cell phone company (we knew about this), and our car insurance (we knew this too). It was our entire grocery budget for the month. THE WHOLE month.

Granted, we have an enormous grocery budget because we have Ethan (therefor the whole family....) on a diet that consists of no refined flour, and no additives. Josh makes a living that keeps us semi-comfortable (meaning that we are not rolling in extra cash, but we are used to having some extra things). But....now we are NOT comfortable. We are scrounging to make it too the next pay day which is about 10 days away.

How did I react??? I WAS ANGRY! I called the company and I did NOT represent myself in a Christian manner AT ALL. I said rude and arrogant things. While I STILL believe that what they did was illegal and wrong, my tongue was out of control.

I was showing that money meant more to me than keeping myself in line with God's commands. I was NOT showing off my gentle spirit. I am not proud of myself, and I can now see that I put money on a pedestal where it does not belong.

We originally thought that we were going to fight to have this money restored to us, but in the end we decided to just let them put the money in escrow so we don't have to worry about it. By the time they end up getting it back to us, we probably will hit the next pay cycle anyway...so why worry about it.

I have no clue how we are going to make it through the next 10 days, but God provides for his children.

So, it brings me to my end point. What is a blessed life??? I suppose for some it's monetary gain....for ME and our house, it's my 5 children. It's living in the country, planting a garden in fresh air, and cutting beautiful roses from our rose garden (See above), it's reveling in this marvelous place that God allowed us to live out our lives, and thanking him for a wonderful life partner. I will NOT allow money to distort my view on blessings. Never again.