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April 22, 2009

Wednesday's Walk: Grief

The one who is testifying to these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon!" Amen! Come, Lord Jesus! ~Revelation 22:20

Wednesday's Walk: Walk with Us! Click below:


PLEASE, please, please...before you read my blog today GO see little Kayleigh's blog.


I am just incredibly heartbroken to read what I read this morning.......

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On to my walk....

I have had moment's of grief in my life. My Grandfather died when I was very young, and from what I have been told he was my very favorite person. I don't remember the grief, only what was written. I was quiet, if not silent, for days. My parents were worried....but looking back, it's a VERY Christa thing to do. The Christa of my childhood is the same as the me of today. When I am sad, or in pain...I clam up. I don't like emoting. I don't like crying. I just go "away" which is probably not healthy, but it's very ME.

One of my biggest times of grieving turned into a depression. In 1998 I moved out of my childhood home. It was a permanent and final separation from my mother. It was a good thing. BUT...being permanently severed from my childhood ties, no matter how painful it was, put a shock to my system.

For a month or two I went back and forth from living in my car, to living with friends, and I finally settled into my dad's house (who recently left home as well). There were a lot of nasty words exchanged, and I fell apart....for about a year. I turned from God, and I have never felt so alone in my life. I finally came back to the Lord in 1999, and I have never looked back. There is no grief like being turned away from HIM.

Then there were my 5 miscarriages.

This grief was different. In my earlier years, before Christ, I was scared of death. I would wake at night in cold sweats and hyperventilating....at the thought of my mortality.

After Christ, I have THE hope. The hope that life not only goes on, but it gets infinitely better than what we know now. When I said good-bye to my 5 babies, I knew it was only for NOW. I would meet them in Heaven, and someday my family will be whole again.

It's a beautiful thing when you are walking with God.

I urge you...if you don't know that peace...FIND it.

Look! I am standing at the door and knocking. If anyone listens to my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he will eat with me.~ Revelation 3:20



7 comments:

Sally-Ann

There are so many different forms of grief, so many different reasons for grief. Thank you for sharing. My thoughts and prayers are also definately with Kayleigh and her family.

Tanya

Thanks for sharing and my thoughts and prayers are with Kayleigh and family.

Linda

I am so glad that you asked everyone to go to Kayleigh's site,...and I will be praying,...as I am sure thousands of others are doing.

God is God,..and He is able! Amen?

I am also glad that you came back to God and found peace in your life.

That must have been so hard to have 5 miscarriages. I Praise God that you are not bitter,..but are so open to the fact that you will have all of eternity with them.

And you went on to be blessed with your five precious children,...how wonderful.

God is Good ,...all the time!

Thanks for your post today. it is good to think back on how God has brought us through our trials.

Love, Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

September

Christa~
I enjoyed perusing your blog today. You have a lot to offer,, I will be back to visit!
I am too praying for Kaleigh's family. He hears us and comforts us.

Aspiemom

I'm so glad that you found your peace with God. It's a wonderful gift to your children, also!

Holly

When God is on your side you don't grieve like those who have no hope. I think of the song With Hope by Steven Curtis Chapman. So, so true!!

Lynnette Kraft

PRAISE GOD FOR HOPE! You have a beautiful perspective. We'll all have to grieve, but when we grieve with the hope of eternity it puts it all in perspective doesn't it?

It is so hard to watch children grieve. I feel sorry for your parents having to watch you grieve the loss of your g-pa. :( I'm so happy that you have Jesus, and that you'll be able to spend eternity with your babies.

Thanks for sharing.
Lynnette

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~Christa @ Quintooples