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March 26, 2009

How do you know?


How do you know when you have found THE ONE?

You know....like a doctor, for your kids?

I may be a tad over dramatic...but honestly you NEED a good relationship between you and your doctor. He needs to trust you, you need to trust him. When you have many small children it's vitally important that you know he has your best interest at heart.

It's all about personality too. We don't DO pediatrician's. I like going to a doctor that sees the whole family, who knows the entire dynamic of the family. Our old doctor was a perfect fit. After being discharged from a practice for non-vaccinating (on schedule anyway!) Dr. H was a breath of fresh air for us. He was a non-alarmist, laid back, and really listened to my intuition. I guess that it helped that he knew the doctor that I had worked for prior to being a SAHM...but he was a perfect fit, until he decided to become a dermatologist.

I was so sad.

I transfered to another doctor, and immediately we were oil and water. He doctors out of complete authority. He ended up forcing me to transfer in the end....otherwise I would have been discharged due to "differences of medical opinion" anyway. He actually ridiculed me for using Tylenol to bring down one of Reagan's fevers. He SHARES my opinion that doctors over medicate, and does not hand out meds easily. I explained that Reagan was my exception because she has a tendency to spike fevers, and as an infant she had once spiked a fever of 106 and had begun to go into a febrile seizure before we got her into an ice bath. He *actually told me that there were medications on the market for anxiety disorders.

I never went back. Don't mess with mama bear. I have friends that go to this practice, and that's cool. I never question why someone fits with someone else. That's the beauty of this health care system (which we need to protect) is that we get to choose a doctor that fits OUR particular family, and our personalities.

The search went on. You may remember the practice who scheduled (and then canceled) the babies 4 month well baby visits. They rescheduled me for 2 months later, and when I showed up the practice was not seeing patients that day. They *forgot to call me.

I never went back.

My good friend suggested Dr. L, and I went. It was a good fit. It's a very small office, and they all know me by name. When I call with a problem they call me back, or see me the same day. He listens to my concerns, respects my opinion as the mother, and makes a medical opinion. While he may not completely agree with all of MY opinions he respects me.

When I was there yesterday, Joel was not. They had already done his well baby exam a few weeks earlier. The whole staff...from the receptionist, to the MA, to the RN, to the doctor all asked how Joel was doing, and how I was coping. They had heard his screams. Dr. L realizes that something is wrong. It's nice to know that I am at an office that actually cares....I mean really cares about what's going on with Joel and the whole family.

My point of this post is this:

If you are ever unhappy with the way your doctor handles a situation, especially if it pertains to your child, look somewhere else! Always remember that they work for you, and that they are making medical decisions for YOUR child. If they make a mistake YOU have to live with it, so you should be very comfortable with the judgment of your doctor. People have different personalities, and you need to find the right fit for YOU. Don't ever be afraid to shop around, because when it comes to your child's health you just can't be more careful.

If you are a first time mom with an infant, or a first time pregnant mom...don't forget this step! It's easy to stay focused on your pregnancy, but it's only 9 months long! You will be with this doctor for the next 18 years, so this relationship is potentially much more important than even that of your OB! Interview, interview, interview. Make a list of questions that are the most important to you (keep it short, you can figure out the doctor's personality with only a few key questions) and ASK!



7 comments:

dmelen

Great post! So true, Thank you

Jen

Great post! We recently switched from an all business approach Pedi practice that was HUGE to a SMALL family practice. We LOVE our new Dr!

mrosev14

I think that is very well said. I also encourage friends who are pregnant becoming first time moms to take a friend (who already is a mom) with them to do pediatrician interviews. By taking a friend you, A.) have another opinion and B.) have a person to help you form questions and such.

Hoping for our own Peanut

great post. ill be sure to search high and low until i find the perfect fit.

and thanks so much for the info on wraps. i really appreciate you taking the time to do so!

Clair

You are so right. Things are very different here in the UK- we tend to see small General Practicioners practices but some are better than others. My old one was awful- the receptionist wanted to know WHY you wanted to see the DR (excuse me, do you have a medical degree??) But my new practice is so friendly- we know everyone from the receptionist to the Drs and health visitors and nurses (and they know us and the kids!) and they always offer advice and reccomendations and let you made your decision- they are open to and prefer alternatives rather than medication which makes me trust them more when they encourage medication. I know I'm lucky!

Anyway, you are right- it is important that someone who can have a lot of influence in your life is right for you, good on you for searching out the right one for you and your family

FrenznickFive

Thanks for posting this Christa! I am having issues with our Pedi's office and am trying to figure out if it's worth trying to find a new office and your post confirmed that it's probably best I try to find a better "fit"!

Tessa

i know exactly how you feel about the whole doctor thing. the one doctor that i really like doesn't take the kids insurance so i have to settle with a exmilitary doc.

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~Christa @ Quintooples