August 11, 2009


We have had a hard day. Really, really hard.

My point??? We got through it. Marriage is all about the tough stuff. Finding out what you are made of during the UGLY parts. It's not about white dresses, honeymoons, and lingerie. It's not even about positive pregnancy tests, the birth of a baby, or the day your child graduates from medical school.

Those are all wonderful things. Very IMPORTANT parts of marriage. They create fond and lasting memories that we talk about and reminisce about for all of our lives. They are JUST as important as the other value I am about to talk about, BUT....the GOOD things are NOT what keep us together.

That's an illusion, a lie we tell ourselves. The lie that when we are with the ONE we are *supposed to be with* (don't get this realist started on the dangers of believing in "soulmates"...they DON'T exist!!!) it won't be hard.

In reality, it's all about forming bonds over the hard times, because these are the bonds that are unbreakable. For example:

It's about what happens when the honeymoon is over, and you have your first (BIG) post-wedding fight. When the pre-baby lingerie doesn't fit anymore. It's about what happens when you have a checking account with .30 cents and savings account of $0, and your car just broke down. It's about a baby with colic who does not sleep for days. It's about the moments after a miscarriage, a death, or tragedy.....

It's these things that bring us together, or tear us apart.

During this week, Josh and I drew from these experiences. What we went through this week was not that bad. We have suffered far greater sorrow than a utility company taking more than what was fair, and our checkbook suffering for it. When we look back, and see exactly how far we have come....from the days of high school, to prom, to college, to a white wedding dress, to being poor....partly due to being infertile, dealing with miscarriages......

We can deal with a MINOR setback like the one we were dealt yesterday.

So, if you are a young newlywed, and you feel in over your head....HANG in there. Draw close to each other, and you will form bonds that will make you unbreakable from each other. For TODAY it seems hard, but today is only a moment. Today is fleeting, and you are gaining wisdom and insight for tomorrow.