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May 5, 2009

A week of Celebration???? For ME???

We are making the best of things around here with the lack of funds, and the days of celebration. Mother's day is Sunday, and our 7th Anniversary is on Monday. It's hard on Josh (I think) that we can't celebrate in a "proper" way. Mother's Day is a wonderful thought, but it's really just another day used to sell cards, chocolate, and flowers.

What I really want is a new delicious family portrait by my budding artists....Reagan and Ethan.

We have been married for 7 years now...together for 13.5. I think the 7th anniversary gift is wool.

What does Mother's Day mean to me??? I don't know. It was a horrible "holiday" for me to suffer through when I was going through infertility. I, by that time, had no mom to celebrate ....and going to church on that Sunday felt like a mean joke. They were celebrating the very thing that I wanted the most in the world, and could not have. When I had my first baby, I realized that the actual day celebrating Mother's does not hold much weight for me. I discovered that I actually celebrate becoming a Mother on Reagan's birthday. That is MY anniversary of becoming a mother.

I guess for Mother's day...it's more of a reminder of my past. It's remembering how hard I struggled to even conceive a baby. It's a memory of painful surgeries, and meds...and even a reminder of my mother....memories that I can usually suppress 363 days a year.

When you are celebrating Mother's Day on Sunday, try and remember your infertile friends. This is about as bad as the pain gets...watching the world celebrate the very thing you can't achieve. The thing you want the most in life...to be a Mommy. Give her a hug, and tell her that you are always there to listen.

Also remember the women who have lost Mother's to death, or to estrangement. Offer hugs, and a shoulder to cry on. It means a LOT just to have someone remember that your Mother is not with you to celebrate....just as it means a lot when someone remembers that you are suffering from a barren womb. Most people just want acknowledgment that the grief is real, and that the grief is OK.

4 comments:

The Wilcoxson's

I totally understand. Trying to finacially support 7 on one salary is hard. This week is my birthday and then there is mother's day. Also I guess I never thought how hard mother's day is to people that want to be mothers and just have not accomplished that. I think that sometimes I am selfish because I did not have any problems. Thank you for reminding me.

AmandaC

Oh, goodness. You hit the nail on the head. Sometimes it's like you're reading my mind.
Either way, Happy Mother's Day!

Linda

Hi Christa, Thanks for sharing your heart sweetie. I respect your feelings and I will try to be more sensitive to those who are unable to conceive,...and to those who didn't have good relationships with their moms. My heart does go out to them, and to you.

I know that you are a busy mama with lots to do now,...and these little ones can't yet appreciate all that you do for them. But someday they will look back with fond memories of all the loving things you did for them, and they will want to honor you on Mother's Day,..and you will feel so blessed.

It's all of the silly little things they will do, and make for you over the years that will warm your heart and bring you smiles.

My oldest daughter has never been able to birth a child, but she was blessed with an adopted daughter. And she has had her for 16 wonderful years.

My middle daughter has lost two baby boys and a 6 yr.old daughter.

My youngest daughter has 4 kids, but she had the sorrows of miscarriage.

These kinds of situations are so hard.

Yet there are blessings that can come from all kinds of situations. Amen?

God is good,...all the time!
Love, Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Ronnica

You're right...Mother's Day means many different things to different people, and some of those are bad. While I haven't struggled with infertility, I am a woman who WANTS to be a mother but may never have the opportunity to, so this day can carry some awkwardness to me. It certainly helps to open my eyes to those around me who may be struggling. It helps that our church often focuses on honoring all women on this day, not just mothers.

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