Transparency

Please visit Kayleigh's blog and offer a prayer for the family. Thank-you.


I know I have mentioned this before, but every 6 months I make my blog into a book. I have it done in hardback, pictures and all. It's great to have all of these memories written down for the future. I have already learned that time makes memories very fuzzy, and I want to have something to go back to and remember my day to day life.

I want to be transparent. I don't want to remember only our triumphs, our sunny days, but also our struggles. I would be lying if I said that everyday was full of laughter, happiness, and lightheartedness.

I also don't want to drag anyone down with me. I don't want this blog to turn into Christa's place for complaining, which is why I don't write many of these posts....but I think it's important to remain transparent...especially for the days to come when our children are grown. I want them to look back and see that we struggled, as they will inevitably will as well.

So here it goes, I am going to call this my list of stresses. I would love to have extra prayers, but it feels selfish of me to do so when there are blogs such as Kayleigh's family, McKMama, and so many other families that are truly suffering right now.

Josh works on 100% commission. He does not bring home any kind of salary. This is fine, as normally we do fine...but when business slows down (and you can never prepare for this!) it gets tight. REALLY tight, and with 5 kids that eat more than I would have ever expected very small children to eat....it's scary. We have eaten through most of our savings. Josh has some WONDERFUL prospects floating around, but he needs to get these sales...and soon.

On top of that, we have been putting off replacing our roof since we moved in to this house in 2005. It needs DONE, but the funds are no where in sight.

Our kitchen is just horrible. It's functional, don't get me wrong. If you have been reading this blog for a while you know that this is a frustration for me. Every morning I walk out and sigh. No amount of cleaning makes that kitchen look nice. It has metal cabinets....they really are so weird. They WORK. I should not complain, but if there were a contest for America's Ugliest Kitchen....we would be in the running. I am admittedly embarrassed about it. I hate having people come over because it's the first room you see.... We thought we could remodel it shortly after we moved in, but formula and diapers soon became more important. :)

We need a new car. Josh's car is about to die. It's old. It's OK that it dies. It's lived a long life. It's a '97 Sable with 160K+ on it. We could have bought a new car years ago, but it's nice not having a car payment.

Our wedding anniversary (7 years on 5/11!), and Mother's Day is coming. Josh will not be getting a paycheck for at least another 3 weeks, so I did my best to put on a happy face and tell him that it's OK, I don't want/need anything. It's TRUE. I don't need anything, I have everything I need....it's just disappointing that we won't be able to celebrate.

I guess I am supposed to be getting wool for our 7th anniversary. Hence the picture. LOL.

There are so many women who have husbands that have been laid off....so I KNOW I am not alone. EVERYTHING is bad right now. I am just praying that we get some good commissions and soon. Josh has quota's to meet, and his job could be in jeopardy as well if things don't pick up.

The Bible says, in Philippians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." In this Scripture, we learn that we should bring all of our needs and concerns to God in prayer rather than worry about them. Jesus also teaches believers to not worry. He encourages us to avoid worrying about our physical needs like clothing and food. Jesus assures us that our Heavenly Father will take care of all our needs (Matt. 6: 25-34).

This seems like it should be easy.

It's not....but I AM trying.

What I am trying to meditate on right now:

"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ~Matt. 11: 28-30

Again, sorry for the downer post! I just want to document our struggles. Thanks for listening. On to happier things tomorrow evening. I have some great pictures to share! :)